Restless

I want to think that if other people thought like me, the world would be a better place. But if my mind was so special, how come I haven't done anything with myself? Why am I still sitting here with barely a high-school education ,with no patents, no projects, not even recorded music?
So the only conclusion I can come to is that I'm NOT special. Everyone thinks like me, Everyone feels this SOMETHING burning within them, everyone hopes and tries and fights themselves in their personal minds, and yet so few take advantage of this potential they all feel.
BUT HOW COULD THAT BE!??

It Couldn't. No. People would pay more attention if they thought like me. I'm not short-sighted enough to rob a bank, cheat on a test or friend.... am I? Even with my small spectrum of experiences, I HAVE done SO many things that even as they happened I KNEW were stupid. ...I think... Part of me would really like to think that maybe, just maybe, my mistakes were somehow for the best in the grand scheme of things. Like God knew that me doing this would make someone think of this and the butterfly effect would cause something really, REALLY good to happen in china... or ... something...
Yeah, I know it's just wishful thinking.

I need to go to bed