Seriously. I have want to become an super hero. Right now

One week of waking up at 8 am for work. Then I switch to graveyard. I.... think I might survive...

I dunno HOW I made it to shcool on time so often. I do fine waking up early... Unless it's for something I don't want to wake up for :P

But work has been very fun. I get to hide away in a warehouse keeping and protecting halloween costumes until they are purchased. Then I get to package them and send them off throughout the world :) No. I know it's not the coolest job in the world. But it's definitely something I'll enjoy while it lasts. Kinda like when I transported pianos.

So lately I've been thinking about growing a tail. Do you suppose it would be blasphemy? I think I've come to the conclusion that, if I somehow DID figure out how to do it, I would really be by the grace God that I was able to open that part of my mind. Because it would be different than surgically altering yourself, being a completely natural force of will, maybe?
Of course, I also know that if I figured out how to grow limbs I would NOT stop at a tail.. And I could see something going wrong with that.
So I'm willing to accept that I may never figure it out. But why shouldn't I try? As long as you don't make it any serious priority in your life, I would submit it could be healthy focusing on your muscles, nerves, and cellular make up. Also in my research I've learned tons of anatomy! So there you go.

I decided at an early age, If I were to have superpowers. I would definitely be a shape shifter. Not like different people or different animals, Like, stretch and grow and stuff. I think this is because of my insane desire to have control over this awesome body I've been given, and how I feel so mentally amorphous, or absent minded/add/what have you.

I think finding out what superpowers people wish they had says a lot about a person. Flying is the obvious first answer because everyone wants that freedom. Time travel hints at a desire to have greater influence on the events around them. Telepathy might suggests this person worries about understanding people, or... any of them could really just say how one would want to be superior :P
So yeah, it totally varies between people. But it's a fun way to learn.

Well, I gotta get up for work :) I'm really glad it's Tuesday tomorrow. I don't think I would survive another Monday :P

Walking home- 2 am

Looking across the valley at night from the foothills, I cannot see a single green light. It's as though the streets are filled with only stop lights, and the only way to get somewhere is to just take the chance and hope the police will understand.

It's nearly two AM and there are still so many cars. I watch them racing amid the grid of lights that block out the stars. The man-made nEoN colors promote different things from good sales! to clean getaway roads and I can't help but hurt a little at the thought of humans scuttling from one thing to the next; I know I shouldn't pretend each car really lives in the ultimatum that I see, but at 1:46 nothing is especially logical. They all look like frantic ants (except ants will probably never so completely cover the earth with cold steel and fast-food restaurants) Stock-piling everything because Everything is so IMPORTANT. Which is stupid because In the end... these things are only there because we put them there...Right?
Or are they?
Why wouldn't women dream of fancy clothes, even without the guidance of T.V. adds and fashion models? And just because I never made a highway, doesn't mean I don't search for an escape..
So on we drive, dreaming of sanctuary.
Traveling minutes to miles searching for our next release and our chance to feel like things are OK.
Too many will fall to vain promises. Clawing and crying for the damnation of their choosing, ignorant of their demise until it's far too late. It may be your neighbor, your sister, your old elementary teacher. Regardless, they will be punished in their own way for losing sight withOut you taking the judgment seat.
So if you learn nothing else from the lights this night, at least learn to mourn for those who did not see the stars above their electric dreams.
Learn to pray for those seeking quick fixes and the over-advertised paths.
Because that man over there getting strapped in a chair once thought he could make it, just like you. That woman talking on her cell phone and cut you off on the road once had an honest smile that shined so bright.
We all get lost sometimes.

:( I am not having a good day today, but I couldn't tell anyone why even if I wanted to. So... I'm just going to write it here.
Whenever I'm angry or empty, I like to imagine burning or breaking things, but even when I do, I don't feel any better. I try other things like reading or writing, exercising, singing, drawing, cleaning, praying, talking to friends and even wasting away on video games, but I still feel so... something. something bad. moments like these I wish I didn't exist. I want to scream or burn or sOMETHING but nothing works.

Poop.

It's so easy for me to slide and fester in depressions like these. I think what makes it so easy is how stupid it is. I have a good life. people like me. I'm healthy and educated.

IMPATIENCE. That's got to be it. I want to DO something but I'm still so dependent on my parents. For all this potential thrust at my face I don't feel useful.

Tarter sauce.

This day

What a day
What a momentous day
something should happen today that changes me
something that helps me see what I can be.
I need this day be be real to me
I need this momentous day

This great momentous day
Filled with endless choices wrapped in tension
This day of hope and wonder,
this day that sweeps the unprepared off their feet
this day of chance and power

This is the day Heroes are born
a day dastardly plans are laid
a day that, if risks are taken
could ripple through history

Who will see this for what it is?
Who can comprehend the impossible possibilities
that come with sunrise
and the untold legends
that are lost when sun sets.
This Great Momentous Day


Take advantage of what's given to you!!

Crawling through the brush
over dirt, grass, life and death.
thinking of only himself,
thinking of only surviving.
the spider hunts his prey

Oh how I envy him!
you will hear people say
such a life, so simple
when desires are all you run by,
when all you need to know,
is YOU ARE ALIVE.

Here he sits and drinks martini,
leaning back
so FAT
in a robe of red ruby velvet
never moving, unless he must
never moving, he can simply just
call for a slave to fetch his dreams

Oh how I envy him!
you will hear people say
such a life, so simple
when desire is all you run by
when all you need to know
is YOU ARE ALIVE.

oooh, too bad you feel like the prey
too bad you're really the slave.
oooh, truth is you'll never feel safe
you'll never have a real days rest.

....

heart beat slowing
slave lazily getting doctor
so alone...
so alone...
spider, thoughtless, dies without care
master, no friends, never hears a prayer.
never knew a true lover to love him.
never sees the heavens above him

Oh how we envy them!
you will hear people say.
too bad no one sees beneath
they always die in vain
ARE YOU REALLY ALIVE?
DO YOU ONLY SURVIVE?
ARE YOU REALLY ALIVE?
or
DO YOU ONLY SURVIVE?

Stuff. Enjoy!

I wasted the day playing champions online.
tonight I'm going to practice my kung fu!

The lamp overhead is as bright as that face
the face that I shattered
like a glass from my table
half full of nothing
and now I'm just mumbling
but I was laughing at the condensation
growing out of the cup like mold,
so cold
it was dripping like my eyes were
that time you used me
for the last time
it's always for the last time
and I know you'll want me just
one more time
but like my minty toothpaste I'm running out of me
My heart and soul
like doughnut holes
cut out and left behind
but still worthwhile-
while I sit alone here wasting my time
converting these thoughts into poems and rhymes
I try to explain why
I cannot explain why
I sit in the street with a lamp overhead.

It's me!! XD Just having a good time!

I can't give you money,
I'm too slow to catch you monkeys
but I can give you
time
laughter
courage
peace
I have bucket loads of these
I can share your tears
or quiet all your fears
I can be your punching bag
whenever your souffle goes bad
or if you're simply really mad
I only want one thing from you
I just want you to share.
tell me I'm someone you could stand to sit next to on a train
tell me you wouldn't mind holding my hand at least every day.
Tell me I'm you're equal, and that we'd make the greatest team
just say it's okay that I dream of you
because I'm in your dreams

*I posted this on a poetry website once, and the one response
I got was "it's too bad men aren't really like this"
.... O.O' ?

My friends had a little tradition of burning empty pizza boxes on the high school parking lot.
Not that I would ever do such a thing..



Thing's I look for in a girl:

• Confidant
• plays at least one instrument
• happy expressive face
• talks with meaning
• intelligent
• physically fit
  
• religious, and wants to learn about religion
• loves life
• artistic, creative, imaginative... accepting of my own crazy ..
  
• smiles, and means it
• honest and happy with who she is, and who she's becoming
• Dances like no one is watching
• sings like no one is listening
• likes travel
• likes bugs
• Listens

XD Get it!? 'cause.... 'cause it's a.. trap...

ahahaa, this isn't nearly as dangerous as it looks. >.> I needed a facebook picture!!






......A light within me began to glow
and night ungrievingly watched me go
I smiled at the springtime air
My life had just begun :)
As flowers, trees, and lovers bloom
I fell in love with the afternoon
We danced until the green twilight
My life will never end.
In summertime my soul is free
through the air above the trees
The heat will bring my laughter back
There's so much to be done!
Time as we know is a fickle being
never as patient as we please
But in this night she belongs to me
as I hold her in my arms.
But I can feel her shrink away
as autumm promises decay.
Her crackling words I cannot ignore
and age pulls at my feet.
and Though I try to live in wonder
My bones cannot go on much longer
The leaves will fall, and to must I
but please...
let me dance this one more night.
one more night
one... more... night...
Snow
The freezing breath that drains my soul
it comes too soon! it seems to lull
my aching heart to serenity
In white silence I die
Was there ever warmth in the light of day?
Was there ever grass or green at all?
I know no color
I feel no life
just the soft purgatory of snow
and I feel no more

Round and Round

Well, Jim and Hazel left for Heber, Breanna is out with an adventuring class for two weeks, Danny is leaving for Nevada to work on Saturday. Life is moving on.

I don't feel particularly lonely or anything. I know I'll see them all at least once before I leave on my mission. I suppose I'm a little frustrated that unlike them I still have to wait a little while before MY life goes anywhere..
But that's kinda my fault.

I haven't showered in a couple days, and for the last week my sleep schedule has cycled to a 4AM-noon. I really hate admitting it to myself, but these things make me a little grumpy :P

Oh, and I've also been reading. Which is really dangerous for me because I get SO sucked into them. My brain gets all mushy and doesn't want to think about anything else. The worst part is when I finish a book or worse, a series. When the book ends it's like my world ends with it and I end up feeling very very lost and forlorn. But I seem to think it's worth it.

If I kiss you where it's sore
If I kiss you where it's sore would you feel
Better?
Better
Better? Would you feel anything
at all?

This verse has been orbiting my consciousness all morning!! Almost like it means something to me...

These last few days have been wonderful though, with lots of friends laughing and Practicing self-defense at the football field at two in the morning. And you Gotta love these sunsets eh?

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Well if my words haven't colored you flabbergasted with inspiration, these pictures are sure to solidify you're admiration of my awesome!

>.>

heheHAHA >X3 I like this one.
Yeah, it's pretty black though

Let's move on

They're probably going to lock me up, but by golly
I am going to BUILD this someday!!

Another shirt My friend Zie needs to own

Hrmm, I also wanted to post my own parkour video, but I r not smrt enough.... So here's a link
And if that doesn't work, use this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlmI-idGdwA

Um, this was for a drama class thing, but it's still okay. The beginning is super boring 'cause there was supposed to be like a poem or something? Yeah, just watch the whole thing.


I'm going to go eat now

I shouldn't be blogging right now

So I won't write much. I just really super duper wish that I ...had ... candy