The contents below is the speech I wrote for church at my mission farewell. Enjoy!
This, is a letter I wrote last night. For all of you, because I couldn't come today.
it begins:
hello everyone, and thank you for coming my not mission farewell :)
I'm sorry you all came and I didn't but I'm sure Brother Gardener, Brother Shumway, and Brother Gover were interesting enough.
I was asked to talk about agency, But I can't.
Oh, I wanted to, I spent two weeks agonizing over this, looking through scriptures and past talks for inspiration but it seems I can't talk about our great gift that is agency.
The irony is not lost on me.
This is why I've chosen to be sick today, and I apologize for not coming in, but really, even if you don't forgive me, I'm going to Puerto Rico, so... oh well!
Actually, to be completely honest, I'm not sure I was meant to give this talk at all, Maybe I did something wrong and God was mad at me, or maybe it was just DESTINY!
Yes, it was my destiny to fail at this talk about agency and prove to you and myself that I'm just not meant to be a public speaker.
So instead i'm writing this letter about... me- And maybe you. I want to talk about how each one of you, just by being you, saved me from losing myself.
I'm kind of a creep, I know that doesn't sound right to any of you, but let me explain myself,
I
Love
you.
each and every one of you. When I look into your eyes I am completely blown away with what you can be. I FEEL so much for each of you and Many of you don't even know my favorite color!
...Do you see the problem here? How do I convey to you ALL individually that I support you ALL and am willing to give anything if it means you'll find your way?
I don't know if it's possible, not without either turning my naivete' into meaningless tools for the lackadaisical or becoming a superhero -which would be awesome...
But that's not the worst of it. If this letter proves nothing else, it shows that I CANNOT give you what I wish I could show you with every fiber of my being.
My desire to help is far greater than my ability to do so, and For much of my life I was trapped by the conclusion that if I couldn't be there for all of you, I couldn't be there for any of you.
So I'm staying in bed.
This talk was meant to be my gift to you for all that each of you have done for me. For putting up with me when I came to class half asleep, when I didn't call you back because I forgot, for being nice to me while I was your home teacher, and for taking the time to listen to all the weird things I had to say.
They say it takes an village to raise an Idiot-or something like that-and I have to agree with them. I wouldn't be going on my mission, proud and happy, if it wasn't for your choices.
Thank you.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you about agency, but I hope that knowing you helped make someone who's trying to save the world is cool.
Sincerely, Elder Barnes.
Well, Turns out I did find myself here, and I AM going to tell you that Agency is a gift from God from the premortal life that gives us the opportunity to find true and everlasting happiness, if we so choose it.
No, it's not nessecary for you to find it, you don't HAVE to do ANY of these things, but if I could give you one thing, I would give you the taste that I was given of what we can be.
Agency is the ability to choose our consequences, which I can understand if that comes across as quite limiting. Like a credit card, we can grab and hide with personal pleasures all we want, but If we didn't work for it and make it an honest part of ourselves, it will destroy us.
False claims to substance will only sustain us for so long.
But we're taught that if we can learn to work with the rules we've been given, we find there are higher laws that open up the world, and actually make the laws of physics quite beautiful.
I'm not going to lie, this mission is going to be a real test for me, to see if I really can walk the walk, as they say, but I'm really only nervous that they're going to make me talk more talks,
because I'm not afraid of wearing myself out. I'm counting on it! But I'm really going to be leaving my comfort zone out there.
But I'm not nervouse
... well, I hope you like 'em Short and Sweet, 'cause I don't have much else. But I want to testify to you that our decisions ripple out and touch many more lives than we think, and in turn everyone acts on It's like Billions of universes crammed on a ball and consciously
or not teaching each other what it means to be human. We're maturing as a people, and thanks especially to technology we are gobally connected. The truth is slowly becoming easier and easier to find, But we will always be dependant on eachother down here. I bear witness that those that seek to produce happiness are the ones that will be the happiest, and I humbly pray you all may come to learn this In the sacred name of Jesus Christ Amen
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