MONDAY
Today it rained.
I opened up my eyes to the sound of cat's crying for attention and dogs laughing at their dependency on us, the masters. I walked down the hall as rain poured down the stairs. Dirty rain, the kind that you only see removed by those special stain cleaners on late night TV scams.
I'm feeling sick, and I don't know if it's cause I stayed up until three again or because my friend had a miscarriage, but I'm trying really hard to pretend I'm just hungry.
Because I Am hungry.
I take the time to consume an orange, turkey, toast, a banana smothered in peanut butter and t2o cups of milk in hopes that this somehow covers all my dietary needs for the day. I'm trying to ignore that persistent downpour that drowns out the cheery "good mornings" I would otherwise hear. I'm really thirsty, but as I raise my cup to the sky to partake of this heavenly hydration I am not refreshed. Instead my stomach is filled with dread because I know I'll have to drink more later to survive.
I spend as much of the day as I can smoking computer games. I don't know why.
Outside the rain comes down, desecrating the valley with a mocking promise to cleanse and revitalize. I'm inside, but that only means I can't run.
My only comfort is the knowledge that it can only touch my body. This black rain can flood the world but it will never seep inside me. With years of careful immunization I've become desensitized enough that the icy liquid's only effect on me is sadness and tired eyes. Because of my discipline my joy is never truly extinguished even as my friends pressure me into drinking so that they can feel comfortable.
At the end of the day I am grateful that mondays only happen once a week.
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