I'm gettting really sick of this LOVE stuff. I'm sure my perspectives are so totally skewed and perverted that I shouldn't even be TRYING to be close to people. What makes it worse is my misinterpretation of what people WANT.
My head says, they want THIS, and I say ok. Which might be fine, if I could zone it into one person. But no, I'm stupid.
These things make me self destructive and hysTericaL (But anti-anxiety medication keeps me alive.)
On the note of drugs, Interesting thought; through my eyes the world is already spinning. I have little worries about the everyday g4Rb1e, and I sing loudly in the streets all the time. So.. people smoke and drink and shoot... :O to feel like me! I don't need drugs, I already imagine little people and hilarious things where they don't belong. I love just existing and watching bugs live, and I Adore everyone!
But... why?
Of all things to be scared of, I'M scared that my life is too good to be true. That's Stupid.
When I stop to think is when I become weak. What am I missing? How can I make this achieved state Useful? What if I hurt someone in my stupor? Am I just like this 'cause I haven't "Grown Up?"
But maybe this is for the best. Because of this drive, I can't be happy living off what I'm given. I have to MAKE myself worth all my talents and physical things. So as long as i don't overdo it, maybe this is the only way for me not to waste away...
Dude I freakin love your blog!
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ReplyDeleteman, and I STILL write my comments as too long.
ReplyDeletelol
sorry about that Mr. Cody-Me
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ReplyDeleteI think that you have discovered a rare secret of finding joy in the places that most everyone doesn't notice. And it would seem that for the fact that nobody else sees it, you question yourself. I would encourage you to continue to find that joy everywhere. People don't ever get too old for their inner child. They either loose it, ditch it, or crush it.
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